Lost Is A Place

I have always wanted to run the following ad in my local paper:

LOST: please help, I have lost my mind, misplaced it somewhere. if anyone finds it please return it to me, cuz a mind is a terable thing to lose!

everything ever wanted to know about aging hippy syndrome and probably a few things you really don't care to know as well!

strive  for five

I dunno, maybe I'm jinxed! See I really enjoy fruits and vegetables, y'know strive for five! But theres a problem with my fruits and vegetables, or maybe I should pick them some place other than my local hotel. I stayed a while in a quiet little room,I think it was about four monthsgive or take. It was nice but the decor was a bit strange and quite sparse, just gray foam on the walls and a matress to I think.That was when I met Herald.He had a purple crayon. Herald was pretty much a purple cabbage kinda guy.He was ok but when that doctor did his lobotomy he slipped or something, Herald was never right again. But what I really liked about him was his purple crayon. After a time i grew tired of my keeper,Herald the Purple Cabbage, so I moved out of the strange little room that belonged to him. I made my way to the reception desk in this vast and vastly strange hotel to inquire if better accomodations were available as I had grown weary of gray foam.They assured me that there was a nice room already reserved in my name and I could stay there. I'm not really sure who made all these arrangements for me. Must have been that nice young man Blueberry, I think his name was. Some fuss about being too close to the edge. Edge of what...I haven't an idea! A nice young bellhop with 1,000 jangling keys came along to show me to my new room. I became bored after a bit and wandered down to the Clubhouse where i met many interesting sorts, especially interesting was Mikey the Marshmallow man. Honestly, Mikey was more like an over ripe too soft turnip. We became fast friends and I often went to the shops early in order to deliver a bag of marshmallows to Mikey so he could enjoy them with his morning tea. It happened one morning that upon entering his room, as was my wont, I received the shock of my life.Mikey appeared to be dead! He often dreamt of eating marshmallows and it seemed he thought his pillow was edible!Tried to stuff the entire thing in his mouth! I walked as quickly as my quaking legs would go and entreated the pretty young girl at the desk to call an ambulance. I explained the circumstances of Mikey's untimely demise and informed them that I'd be checking out of their establishment that very day! The proprietors of this hotel prevailed upon me to remain just another day. they assured me of my safety and no harm would befall me or my newfound friends.I reluctantly agreed to stay the night but insisted I would leave the next morning. I followed the key jangling bellhop, who was in truth a rather large somewhat wilted carrot, back up to my room. After seeing that I was comfortable the wilted carrot left me with my thoughts and to wait the long night out. I waited all night then again all day. I did not leave my room after Mikey's demise but only waited for carrot man's return. Many days and many nights,I waited. I dispared of ever being allowed to leave. They had forgotten all about me I was sure. However one bright clear May morning the bellhop escorted me out to a waiting taxi.I returned to my home in a more settled and sttling city, away from strange hotels! Of course  Stan the Banana Man accompanied me on my journey. I found Stan to be quite appealing!